Reconciliation is not some final tactic, a way to tie up loose strings. Reconciliation is not a peace treaty signed on a battleship. Reconciliation is a continuous state of consciousness. What Lincoln had in mind throughout was to save the Union. What Gandhi had in mind throughout was to free both colonized and colonials. What King had in mind throughout was to liberate everyone from the scourge of racism. ~ “How Can I Help?” p 176-177

I’d like to wear this excerpt on a sign around my neck. So much of our definition of success—in social justice, politics, sometimes religion, and definitely in corporate America—is built on the goal that “our side” triumphs. If we’re feeling generous, we may say that we seek a win-win solution, however, it is unfortunately often a tactic rather than a true objective. How will we resolve the issue of gun violence without an honest, open approach to understanding the fears, concerns, and even joys of gun owners? If antagonism is seeded in our thoughts, words, and protest, we can expect to grow a full-flowering garden of animosity. I’m not suggesting that it’s wrong to oppose violence and injustice; only that there’s a way to go about our opposition without increasing polarization.

I also wholeheartedly embrace this philosophy when it comes to prayer, silence, and meditation. They’re not mere tactics—we can’t afford to consider them means to peace or even what we need to “do” to become enlightened. Prayer IS. Because God IS.

I had a conversation with a seminary student recently who, as we were studying the way of Christian mystics, dismissed and even denigrated devotion to prayer as a way of life. I asked, “Do you consider ‘doing’ better than ‘being?’” After a moment, she said no, she didn’t. She includes a moment of silence at the beginning of meetings. She recommends prayer and meditation to those she works with because they bring about a calm and peaceful spirit. (Clearly she’s not been in MY prayer and meditation sessions, ha.) But, she said, prayer is not enough—we’ve had enough of thoughts and prayers and we have to do something about gun violence in this culture. I agreed that the issue is in dire need of resolution. However … is it possible that a resolution could be found if prayer were MORE authentic and widespread, not just a cliché? Is it possible that wisdom and right action could overflow from prayer if our intention was wholeness rather than one-pointed righteousness? What if we didn’t  pray to end gun violence and just concentrated on praying for the sake of … prayer? I don’t know the answer, but I do know that all religions point to this model of prayer over prayer for what we need or want to happen.

The submission/surrender of Islam, the non-doing of Buddhism, the spiritual death spoken of by the Christian mystics—the heart of all religions point to the paradox of sacrificing our little-s self for the True Self. In Gandhi’s list of Seven Social Sins, he mentions religion without sacrifice. It’s not the blood sacrifice of old. It’s not the harmful sacrifice of my physical, spiritual, and emotional boundaries for the sake of another’s benefit (as in codependency). This sacrifice asks us: What unhealthy habit, philosophy, and behavior are we willing to let go of to let God have God’s way with us and, through us, our world? How long, O Lord, will we continue to misunderstand the nature of unconditional love? Most often, underneath the layers of our unhealthy habits is the core belief that we are not worthy unless we “do” something to justify our existence, to be worthy of love. Isn’t this what most needs to be sacrificed?

What better place than prayer, meditation, and silence to just be. Can we let go of judging our prayer time by whether or not we were moved by insight? Felt close to God? Left it feeling more calm? It’s not a means to an end. It is the end in and of itself.

In the Isha Upanishad: In dark night live those for whom the world without alone is real; in night darker still, for whom the world within alone is real. The first leads to a life of action, the second to a life of meditation. But those who combine action with meditation cross the sea of death through action and enter into immortality through the practice of meditation. So have we heard from the wise. In the Christian scripture (Luke 10): As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

The Christian passage in particular has often been misunderstood to suggest that prayer/meditation is superior to action. But the truth of the teaching is that when we are centered in prayer, as a way of being in everyday life, we can both be and do in love.