Here are questions on my mind this week:

• If multiple people share examples with you that the pastor is sexist, and over the years no action has been taken by the church council, do you consider finding a different church? If not, why not?
  • Because it didn’t happen to you?
  • Because maybe these particular women are “sensitive” to remarks?
  • Because no one is perfect and this isn’t that big of a deal?
  • Because you like the people there and don’t want to find a new place?
• How might the church change if men and women were not complicit in a pastor’s sexism?
• What will it take before we hold those in positions of moral leadership–such as pastors–responsible for sexism and unchecked bias? How is it possible that we hold higher standards for business leaders than moral leaders?
• Do you recognize the seemingly harmless comments and suggestions that are, in actuality, sexist?

Here’s my starter list of sexist things said in a church setting:

• “You should consider a starting a women’s ministry–maybe working with congregations led by male pastors.”
  [Women leaders are often redirected to work in women’s ministry and with children.]
• “Women tend to care more about deepening their spirituality.”
  [Shhh … Don’t tell that to Richard Rohr, Matthew Fox, Jack Kornfield, Reb Zalman, etc etc etc]
• (Said about a colleague in clergy) “I don’t know how she does all that she does–she has two small children at home.”
  [No one would ever make that statement about a male pastor.]
• “Are you sure you can handle X, given that your husband is having surgery a few days before that date?”
  [Again, men would not ask this question of another man. While this sounds like a caring question, it plays on the assumptions that a woman would be 1) emotionally ill equipped; 2) the care-giver responsible for her husband’s recovery.]

Microagressions in Ministry: Confronting the Hidden Violence in Everyday Church, Cody J. Sanders, Angela Yarber

Study: Female Pastors Are on the Rise (and so are our impossible expectations for them), Christianity Today, Feb 2017

She: Five Keys to Unlock the Power of Women in Ministry, Karoline M. Lewis
“Undoing the rampant sexism in the church, however, is more difficult; reports of sexism are even downplayed and disbelieved, because ‘we all mean well’ in the church. No one really means to be sexist; it is just the way it is. This excuse makes it all the more difficult for you to navigate its inevitability. It becomes harder still when you are a leader in the church, whether a pastor, a minister, clergy, or a lay employee, and so OF COURSE YOU WOULD NEVER respond so unkindly as to CALL OUT SEXIST COMMENTS OR MAKE SOMEONE FEEL BAD WHEN DID NOT HAVE NEGATIVE INTENTIONS. To take on sexism, the church would have to revise its script so drastically that it is simply not willing, or cannot face, the rewrites.”